Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Two Years
It's Feb. 19 again. This time I'm 20,000 feet in the air on my way to Calgary. Do you know what's worse than watching a comedy on an airplane and laughing like a hyena as people stare at you like you're a lunatic? Watching a heartbreak movie like "Nights of Rodanthe" and feel like you're going to cry your eyes out. Anyway it's been two years now. I've finished another Robotics build season. We have a great entry this year. Were this two years ago, would I turn down this work knowing that Bryan was so fragile? If I were en route to Saskatchewan, would I return for the funeral? I always say that funerals are for the living and those left behind. It's an important part of the mourning process but each have their own ways to remember and still move on. I remember how Don Harvey said he had laid out his suit ready to go to my mother's funeral. I said how he could have called and we would have gladly picked him up. That's not what he meant. He said he spent the afternoon remembering the great times that they had together. That was so much more important to him. And now that he is gone, I find it incumbent to carry on his love of life and his depth of understanding. He was always remarkable in only saying what should be said. What was unsaid was better that way.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Updated Links!
Revised links so that they'll appear in a separate window now...The Bryan Tree has also moved to Picasaweb - no more Imagestation!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Blog Replay
In many ways this blog feels like it's replaying. I just returned from Nashville. We had that weird warm weather last week then cold again. There are pansies on the front porch this year. I'm in the middle of my robotics build. The final ship day for the robot is Feb. 19.
A year ago we'd be getting ready to do that benefit dinner.
Somehow I feel there should be more stories about Bryan here. Maybe a funny incident, a story from the wedding, from work or from Calgary. Send me or post whatever you've got.
As a little test of whether people are still reading this: May I propose we do dinner on Feb. 19? Go to the crypt then to Buffet King. If not the Tues. then maybe Sat. 23rd. Let me know what you think.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Christmas 2007
Family Christmas
We had Christmas at the Wongs, just like last year but without Byran.
Someone broke the sombre atmosphere and the camera caught this photo.
It was great to see Andrew, Alex and Dave at the Wongs on Christmas Eve. Willing to spend some time out for one of their party people they are missing. It's hard when the first of a generation departs.
As I grow older, more and more of my elders are passing on and now more often persons from my generation. It's hard not to dwell on the memories of lost moments but thankfully they are punctuated with moments of sheer delight, as we move onto new experiences in new places.
Happy New Year Everyone.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Photo Archive
Sony Imagestation is shutting down. I've uploaded photos I have to Facebook (public link so you don't have to have an account):
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28532&l=ca121&id=682585139
Let me know if you have albums stored elsewhere.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
October is Coming
October looms as a ominous month ahead.
October is Bryan's birthday.
One year ago, October at Thanksgiving the first of the bad news was discovered and a journey began.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Moving In
I missed lunch with Bryan's friends last week due to an appointment but it was good to catch up a bit afterwards at the Wong residence.
The Wongs take possession of Byran's downtown condominium this week. This will make various downtown based activities of the Wong family more convenient in the next year or so.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Passage of Time
It's strange how the passage of time seems to be coloured by who you are with and your terms of reference.
We had a sixteenth birthday party for Melinda. Somehow having a lot of the same group together made it seem like Bryan's funeral had been only a few days ago. I can't help but feel that the prospect of these family gatherings are very difficult for Jeffrey who along with Bryan were the first of that generation of cousins with quite a age gap until the next group.
It's strange how technology has changed our perception of the durablility of things. We expect anything electronic like computers or TV's to break or be obolete in a few years. Even a microwave oven we expect to break long before our traditional stove and oven. When you look at the old things built in Europe that continue to be admired centuries later, you wonder about what will be the legacy of this generation.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Breaking Free
On the front page of the Toronto Star GTA section on May 1/07 was the face of a fellow TTC employee with the anguish of the loss of a bright young subway driver in a maintenance accident.
That is the new media coverage. In prior times, these would be considered private moments but now this is society's sympathy and compassion. Their anguish is ours.
These are the points of raw emotion. What we don't see is that which is not newsworthy: The healing process and moving forward. This happens differently in each of us. We can't let past events tie us down. If we are forever tethered to that perspective we can never release and move beyond where we can see a new view. Not to say we will forget where we have been but as we move on we can see better where we've been and what we were holding onto much more clearly.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Earth Day
Yesterday was Earth Day.
I went to help run a BBQ sponsored by The Rotary Club of Agincourt for 10000trees.com who plants trees every year. We had hundreds of volunteer tree planters to feed, especially with the pleasantly warm, sunny day. It was up at 9th line and the Markham bypass. On the way there I passed the Markham-Stouffville Hospital.
I always imagine our lives as in Greek mythology where the three sisters spin your life's thread, pull it out and finally cut it off. However, I liken it to how you leave a thread as you travel. The slower you go the larger the mark that you leave. You weave a web of life. Some paths like the route to the hospital grows thick as a rope, as you pass over and over the route. And as you pass over it again the memory of prior visits overwhelms the current one. And it's a cord that will never break.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Video Addendum
Here's some more footage that I forgot to include before. Most of it is from Bryan's Uncle Carlos. Apologies in advance for things I may have cut out. Also some clips have no sound.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnW1Ux-Ixcc
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Video
I just went to a memorial celebration for a good family friend. They produced a 35 minute video of memories from people he knew. I thought it was about time I did a final edit on the video from the Jan. 27 benefit dinner. In some ways it's comforting to see all those familiar faces that know Bryan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS_UZORw0tY
I believe today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Not Quite Spring
OK here's those pansies starting to bloom on the porch.
It's been a month since my last post. I've been tied up doing robotics with the high school kids. We made it to the quarter finals in Waterloo. First time ever for the team.
This robotics build will be remembered by me for the second last day of the build season on Feb. 19 when Carmen called me with the news. I had to go to office to ask for a teacher to cover for me even though I'm not teaching a formal course. I had a bunch of kids drilling and cutting materials that I couldn't leave and needed to keep going. Bryan seemed to always be interested when I talked about robotics.
We had a family gathering last night. Traditionally, we never used to get together for Easter but Angela asked everyone over. Significant events draws families closer. It was good to have everyone enjoying themselves. Naturally, we had to watch the seesaw Leafs game in high-def. Bryan would have loved that game.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
"Ring out, wild bells"
Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.
Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.
Ring out the want, the care the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.
Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.
Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.
Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Letters from the Family
Dear Bryan,
loyal to your many friends and they have responded in return.
the times we played catch, the times we saw the Raptors, Leafs,
and Jays play, and the times we went camping.
We will always love you and we will never forget you.
We know you are now resting in peace, having fun.
Your sense of humor still intact; we can hear you chuckling.
Love, Mom and Dad
Bryan was our older brother but always acted like a big kid just like
us whenever we were all together. Even though the four of us all
have very different personalities, the one thing that’s common between
us all is Bryan’s sense of humour, and that was always enough to bring
us all together. No matter how long it had been without seeing each
other because we were all off busy doing our own thing – the moment
Bryan cracked a joke when we were together or teased Nicole about
something it was like no time had passed at all.
The most vivid memories we have of Bryan are during our family
vacations. In the Wong family, it wasn’t a family vacation unless
someone got lost in Disney World. Bryan was infamous for this, but
always managed to find his way back. There was this one time when
all four of us got separated from Mom and Dad. But Bryan had a very
nonchalant attitude to him and never got nervous or scared whenever
this happened – we guess because he expected it to happen. He just
went about his own way, and it was this laid-back yet confident
attitude that was able to comfort us and keep the 3 of us from freaking
out even though we had no idea where we were or what we were doing.
His attitude was “there’s nothing we can do about it so might as well
enjoy the moment”
We’re going to miss Bryan immensely but he wouldn’t have wanted us
to remain sad because even though he’s not physically present, his spirit
will always be with us. We have with us relationships of memory of
special moments with Bryan that makes hoping for the future possible.
Bryan knew he was loved by his siblings and we know that he loved us
so that in itself brings comfort to us.
~ Michelle, Jason and Nicole
Bryan was my oldest brother and always acted the part. Whether he was
teasing me, showing me around Toronto, or holding me upside down by my
ankles. I always loved the times I got to share with him. He taught me my
first guitar chords and what a wet willy is - the hard way - and had a
certain charisma that always made me happy to see him. No matter how
old we are, Bryan always had some childish phrase that could lighten any
mood, and which I will never forget.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Good Words
This was given to me by a good friend of the family a while ago. OK I Googled it and here's the text:
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well
Henry Scott Holland
(1847-1918) Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
More Photos, More Memories
People continue to send their photos of Bryan. I post most of them onto The Bryan Tree (link at right).
It's funny that The Bryan Tree was started by Alex and Andrew to create a Christmas tree of photos but I see the name as representing the branching out of friends and family from a common trunk that it has become.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Tribute
After elementary school, Bryan attended Brother Andre Catholic High school, went on to Seneca College to get some hands-on skills through co-op placements, and then Ryerson University to complete a Bachelor of Commerce, specializing in Information Technology. He made good friends everywhere; we were all jealous to learn one of his classmates and friends was a recent Ms. Universe winner. Upon graduation, Bryan started his first full-time job at a large law firm, Osler, Hoskin & Harcourt. He was enjoying and excelling in his IT Support role before he was diagnosed with cancer. He had also started making short business trips, which included traveling to New York City and Calgary. This year he was looking forward to moving into his new condo downtown near the Eaton Centre.
Easy going, intelligent, funny, a great fighter, and an awesome person. He was a big fan of Wrestling, Star Trek, all types of movies, downloading just about anything, and following NBA basketball. One thing that everyone knows about Bryan is that he always did what he wanted to do and was very candid in his conversations. He was always himself and we loved everything about him. He worked hard, and he played hard; he was always good company. Bryan also enjoyed riding his bike around the city, he was very good at it given how dangerous it can be. He liked playing basketball and volleyball in the summer, and really enjoyed the hot weather and the beaches. Bryan was a friend you'd always want on your team. For example, as many people can confirm, in video game challenges, he'd always be quicker at pressing the right combination of buttons. 'I'll be there in 10 minutes' usually meant a couple hours though, so as long as you could wait, it would all be good. He'd often have video game, movie, and pizza nights when school and work weren't too busy. Bryan was easy to eat with because he would eat anything and at any time of the day. He would always make sure that food wasn't wasted. Bryan loved life.
A great son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend, and colleague, we are all lucky to have been close with him. Basketball, one of his favourite sports to watch and play, was an area where he dominated when he had the ball. We could always recite jealously his quotes such as "There are 5 people on the court and I ain't passing to anyone", knowing that he could and would get the job done. Another favourite quote of his was "Don't shoot, you're gonna get rejected", which he more than enough times shouted and carried out, to the disappointment of his basketball opponents.
His journey continues beside us, with us and in us.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
The Day After
Today seemed surreal. The flurry of activity over and no one to go see or worry about.
A lot of time was spent catching up on sleep but even when I went to buy some groceries, I felt like I should be doing something else.
Echoing back to the Journey's terminus. It's like I'm wandering around the terminal thinking that maybe the train will return or like in the movies, time will reverse. I have yet to board my train to a new destination yet I know I must.
What will happen to this blog? I'll leave it up as a record of Bryan's valiant fight. I'll post some memories periodically. Especially on special days. Thanks so much to those who expressed appreciation of this blog. While it was a service to others it was also cathartic for myself.
Labels: funeral
Friday, February 23, 2007
Vigil
During tonight's (Friday) visitation around 7:30 pm. There will be Vigil and people will have a chance to share memories of Bryan. A number of people have prepared texts which we will try to have posted here, as well.
Tomorrow's service is a traditional Catholic service which will not include any eulogy.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
"Bryan was a Beast"
As quoted by his father, Bryan fought hard, fought strong, and never gave up. He passed away peacefully just before noon on Monday, February 19th 2007.
With no more pain to worry about, Bryan is able to watch unlimited TV, play b-ball and v-ball endlessly, read all of the latest comics, watch all of the best dvds, and eat to his heart's content. He is undeniably at peace, and happy, and this he has achieved, without a doubt, with your help.
He is, and will always be, with us in our thoughts and prayers.
Announcement will be in Thursday's Toronto Star:
BRYAN BINTONG WONG Passed away peacefully at Markham Stouffville Hospital with his mother by his side on Monday, February 19, 2007 at the age of 26. Beloved son of Richard and Ena Ann-Marie Wong. Grandson of Anna Yee-Ching and Oi-Yip Wong. Loving brother of Michelle, Jason and Nicole. Nephew of Christopher, Foster, Phillip, Irene Angela, Carmen, Ann, Doris, Helen, Mary, Betty, Ida and Agnes. Bryan will be missed by his many cousins, extended family, friends and co-workers at Osler, Hoskin & Harcourt. He was fun-loving, a free spirit and a loyal friend with a great sense of humour. Special thanks to pallbearers: Alex, Andrew, Jason R., Rob, and his cousin Jeffrey. The family expresses their sincere thanks to the nurses and staff at M.S.H. Resting at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home, 8911 Woodbine Ave., Markham, (4 lights north of Hwy. 7) 905-305-8508 on Friday, February 23, from 5 - 9 p.m. A Funeral Mass will take place at St. Justin Martyr Catholic Church, 3898 Hwy. 7, Markham, on Saturday February 24, at 10:30 a.m. Entombment at Holy Cross Cemetery, 8361 Yonge St., Thornhill, south of Hwy. 407. Donations in Bryan's memory can be made to the Canadian Cancer Society or the Markham Stouffville Hospital Foundation.
(Click View PDF to see the notice with the photo.)
http://www.torontostarclassifieds.com/OLCSApp/do/attribute_search_side?categoryName=DEATHS&classId=008&attri_1=wong,%20bryan&detail=true&sort=none&pages=10">The Star
The Snow Fell
I've written before comparing the brevity of life to a falling snow flake. As a stood in Bryan's hospital room on Monday, I saw the new snow swirling outside the window around the tree in the courtyard, Bryan's last view of the world outside for the last few weeks. Sometimes I would see him looking longingly outside. He would pump his arm and lift his leg with renewed vigor.
Some have said the Bryan's Journey is at an end. Consider that we have reached a terminus. We must now depart with one less passenger. Bryan must travel a new path where we cannot follow yet. But the memories of time spent together will travel with all of us wherever we go.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Toy Paradise
Aside from the pictures, posters, drinks, food, chocolates and more brought in by Bryan's relatives and friends (in addition to his own collection!), there are some items that Bryan has never grown up from, and that is the classic and current toys from memorable cartoons that the nurses are jealous of! They always catch his eye!
Photo picture displays seem to be corrupt at the moment, so here's some direct links to some of the toy pictures from his room:
Batman (duplicate)
Family Guy
Spongebob
Transformers
The latter gets the most attention as they are the original 1986 models...just like the Superman model in the Seinfeld episodes...!
The Pansy
OK this is not much to look at but it started growing unexpectedly in my vegetable garden last November. Probably a gift from birds visiting my bird-feeder.
I thought the December frost had killed it but after the week of rain we had in January it was blooming again. Because of it's tenacity thought I'd provide it safe habour and put it in a pot on our front porch. Now it is inside protected from the extreme cold. It's growing thin and spindly since pansies don't like really warm temperatures.
I looking forward to putting it back outside in the spring to continue to grow and bloom.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The Truth
If you can't handle truth read no further...
Those who read this blog and visit Bryan regularly know that I usually delay posting any bad news hoping that whatever has happened will go away. I usually post good news as soon as I can.
The reality of Bryan's condition is that it is slowly deteriorating. He has some good days and bad days but overall things are sliding lower. It's the same Bryan inside but he can barely speak these days. Swallowing is a huge chore and sometimes the pain is overwhelming in spite of the pain medicine pump.
I hope and pray for a miracle. Something that will kick start Bryan's immune system to shrink the tumours. The problem is that Bryan's body so far has been ineffective in fighting the cancer. We all have cancers cells floating around inside of us. The thing is most of the time the body will prevent them from taking hold anywhere. Perhaps, the Tarceva will do something. Perhaps, the forced change in diet will stop feeding the cancer. Perhaps, a different inner strength will be found that will dispatch the errant cells. This I wish.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Tarceva
Bryan started taking Tarceva on Sunday. It's a new drug that acts as a growth inhibitor instead of a cell killer like traditional chemotherapies so it not as hard on the body.
However, one of the side effects is diarrhea which Bryan has now. Hopefully it gets under control in the next while.
Friday, February 09, 2007
A Letter of Thanks
Dear well-wishers,
On behalf of Bryan and the Wong family, I would like to offer my thanks and appreciation for your help during this stressful time. The kindness and consideration we have received has been overwhelming, and we hope that we can one day return this support.
Thank you to all who attended the benefit dinner and dance on January 27th; an amazing $10 000 was raised to aid in
Sincerely,
Nicole Wong
Bits & Bites
Besides the mandatory shaving of his goatee by the nurse, Bryan has been settling well into his room without too much change. Being able to take in small amounts of food again has also been a good sign, and Bryan is keeping up to date on the recent successes of the Raptors. He also enjoyed this year's Superbowl commercials, and in his free time, works on his ball-handling skillz.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Eating
I'm back-dating this to the morning I spent with Bryan (Thursday).
I am worried about Bryan getting the essential body building proteins for re-generating cells. There are 20 amino acids of which 10 must be gotten daily from food. I had always heard that eggs are considered a perfect protein because they contain all of these amino acids.
I made some really soft scrambled eggs with lots of milk in them to take with me in the morning. Bryan had a few small spoons of the egg. However, it seemed to pass through him very quickly.
I plugged my laptop into the phone line and dialed Sympatico so I could show him this blog live. I realised this blog is a lot of text. Andrew posts most of the pictures. I forgot to show him the "Bryan Tree" and how it's been growing.
We first met Bryan when he joined the Records department at Osler in June 2004. Within a short time, Bryan’s outgoing personality and sense of humour had transformed our initial impression of him as a quiet, reserved individual. It didn’t take us long to form strong friendships and a bond with Bryan. By the late-summer, Bryan had become an integral part of the team, organizing KFC lunches for all and challenging the Manager to a box construction contest! The year that Bryan joined Records was very challenging for various reasons. But Bryan’s compassionate, generous and fun-loving character made everyone look forward to each day in the office.
A year after Bryan started at Osler, he transferred to the IS Service Desk. Within a couple of weeks, Bryan’s laid-back, cool demeanour made it seem like he’d always been a part of the team. With a wide variety of personalities on the desk, Bryan’s humour and ability to adapt to the position, quickly moved him from new colleague to friend.
Bryan’s empathetic and open nature initiated strong ties with people throughout the Firm. His relationships were subtle and humble, yet significant and will never be forgotten.
We love you Bryan, and we'll miss you.
2/27/07 6:19 AM